6 Steps to Solving Money-Related Fights in Marriage
Did you know that money-related fights are one of the most accurate predictors of divorce in married couples? One Utah State University study published in 2009 found that out of 2,800 couples, those who fight about money once a week were more than 30 percent more likely to divorce compared to couples who disagreed over finances only a few times a month.
Money is very powerful and it has the ability to cause fights in a marriage. Money-related fighting is one of the main issues causing tension and possible breakdowns in marriages. The key is to resolve fights over financial matters. Six steps to solving money fights in marriage are: be honest, budget together, support each other, plan for personal spending, make money goals and compromise.
1. Be Honest
Being honest is the first step to solving money-related fights in marriage. Keeping money secrets from each other is the worst thing a spouse can do. Be honest about a major purchase made or a financial mistake. If one hasn’t followed the set budget, it is important to tell the other. Before confessing to a major mistake, both spouses should agree to stay calm and work as a team through the problem.
2. Budget Together
Creating a budget together is one of the main steps to solving fights regarding money in marriage. It is crucial for both to be on the same page with mutual spending limits in place. Both spouses should create a reasonable budget and focus on the end goal. There might be some disagreements and tension during the first few times of sitting down to create a budget. It is important to focus on the main goal (spend less than what is earned).
The budget doesn’t have to be extremely detailed but it needs to address and limit problem areas related to spending. It is also beneficial to hold budget meetings every couple of weeks or even weekly. This gives the spouses an opportunity to look at spending and make any necessary adjustments as a couple. Regular money meetings also allow each spouse to acclimate to conversing about money together so when a financial crisis occurs, both are used to money conversations.
3. Support Each Other
Supporting each other is a must when it comes to solving money-related disagreements. There are unexpected financial events that can arise, such as unemployment. The spouse that is going through financial turmoil is already dealing with emotional and self-esteem issues. It is essential for the other spouse to be supportive and provide emotional support. It creates more tension when a spouse makes the other feel bad about their financial situation.
4. Plan for Personal Spending
Planning for personal spending is an important step in regards to solving money fights because both spouses must feel like they have equal control and power over the money. If one spouse is in charge of all the spending, it can leave the other spouse feeling inadequate, resentful and irritated. There should be a set amount of money that each spouse can spend personally without getting ridiculed. This enables both spouses to feel as if they have some control over the finances.
5. Make Money Goals
Setting money goals together helps solve money issues because both are aware of each other’s future financial goals. Working together to conquer and achieve them makes the couple feel more like a team. The teamwork skills will likely carry over to other aspects of the marriage, such as raising kids or dealing with other dilemmas.
6. Compromise
Compromising is a major step in solving money fights. Often in fights regarding financial issues, it’s a power struggle. One spouse wants it one way and the other spouse wants it a different way. Compromising is centered on meeting in the middle and both spouse sacrificing to an extent. Take the holidays for an example, if one spouse thinks $200 is plenty to spend on the kids and the other spouse believes $500 is a better amount then both should be willing to meet in the middle. Coming to an agreement will make them feel more like a team and not two opponents fighting against each other.
Author’s Bio
Harlene Tait is a content creator for Harley Finance – a Australia’s large finance brokerage firm specialising in providing machinery financing solutions. She writes a series of topics in personal and business finance and regular content contributor for major financial websites.
Category: Family Finances
